A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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