The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
