i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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