Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
