I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize