My room smells like vodka and shame
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
