I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
