i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
