Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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