You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
