i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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