so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
