i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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