Your tits are I can't wait for
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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