Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
