Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
