did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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