The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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