I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize