I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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