I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
