you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
is it fun? or sober?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
