He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
