I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize