honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
