I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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