This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
