I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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