i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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