my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
