His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
