would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
