A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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