i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
