Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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