woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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