im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
