I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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