I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm at about main and main street
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
