I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
