do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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