what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
