WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
