so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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