Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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