So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
