dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
