my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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