Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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