i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
