dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
