I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize