His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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