Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
