So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
