Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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