Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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