Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
