this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You took a bar mat shot.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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