Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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