Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
